October Newsletter
“Hoarding is often sensationalised and misunderstood – but it can be a symptom of deep trauma. One woman shares how hoarding impacted her life – and her road to recovery.”
We want to thank Carol for being so open with her experiences and we hope to continue this good work of inspiring and empowering other people with Hoarding Behaviours. We spoke with Carol to discuss the project.
Q: Why did you decide to share your story?
A: There are several reasons…
1) To encourage more people, including those who suffer with it, to view Hoarding Behaviour differently. Behaviour can change, IF given the opportunity to have the right understanding & appropriate support.
2) I wanted more people like me to realize they are not alone. Help & support is available from people who understand how we can begin to alter our thinking patterns & “habits” & live a safer & less complicated/happier life.
3) To show professionals – local enablement & fire services, medical, housing, environment – friends & relatives the person/human being BEHIND the piles of belongings. So people can have a more meaningful understanding of why & how someone might develop this behaviour over a number of years.
Q: How and why do you think hoarding behaviours can grow over the years?
A: Trauma in a person with HB may have been buried deep. Locked away for years. It can lie there, the impact growing larger – just like the layers & piles of accumulated belongings do.
Like an onion – as we peel away the outer layers & get nearer to the “heart” – many tears may flow. The weight lifted with those tears can open us up to new ways of thinking. That may not mean forgetting, but putting things into a place that recognizes it is part of “who I am today” & realizing that we are survivors & strong. (We might not feel that way, sometimes.)
Q: What does being a ‘survivor’ mean to you?
A: To no longer just exist but to begin to enjoy our lives, on a different & freer level.
Without a voice, or recognition & help, the trauma becomes the “stuff” – limiting a person’s life & sometimes turning into, for me, a “protection barrier” against the outside world.
My very limited space became a “nest” to feel safe in. The reality was a serious fire hazard, not just to me but to others.
Q: What can someone do to help? What works, in your experience?
A: Professionals who want to help by doing things differently, are seeking expert assistance from Megan & HUK & other like-minded professionals.
It is more successful to actively encourage a person like me, with HB, to work through & understand why/how this behaviour has developed, & to recognise it can be changed for a more comfortable & sustainable future.
I have been fortunate to be helped through this process by Megan @ HUK & a pilot project in my local area. This has sparked interest not just from the wider local area but to other areas of the UK. Support Groups have also been set up too.
Q: You mention Support Groups in this project – how have Support Groups helped you and people in a similar situation to yourself?
A: Meeting up with others who have HB has an important part to play. The groups allow people to feel safe discussing any issues, if they wish, or to just listen too. They also allow facilitators to point people to helpful services/organisations too. There are Online Support Groups too.
Q: This short-film has an empowering and hopeful message for people with hoarding behaviours and the people supporting them. Can you add to that here for our readers?
A: Learning to change HB is not an overnight process… People who have used drug & alcohol as a coping strategy are not expected to change overnight. It takes time. It is a process.
Tackling HB is a process that involves work from both sides: Trust, Being Listened To, Understood & Encouraged. Real Positives; rather than the Expectation/Fear Of Being Judged, Dismissed, Damned Or Being Seen/Feeling Hopeless.
I shouted for help for years. When it came, I was given Hope & Patience & Understanding. I learned to trust individual people, working with me, to help me change my behaviour and thinking. I am not “cured”, I still have things to sort out, but my living space is so much easier to Live in.
Change Is Happening.
Help Is Out There.
Keep Looking & Asking For Help!
Don’t Give Up!
I hope this short film helps people, directly & indirectly. If so, then it will be one of the ways I can say “A Sincere Thank You” to Megan, HUK, all the people in the local pilot project, & others who helped me address my hoarding behaviours.
Thank you to the filmmakers too for their sensitive approach, & production.
HUK Membership Benefit Survey
But there’s always room for improvement, and we’re looking to enhance and expand our efforts, so HoardingUK is conducting a Membership Benefit Survey.
Please take a moment to complete this survey: your voices and views can lead the way forward for HoardingUK.
A Letter from the Chair
Remembrance of loss, while painful at times, can and should be a celebration as well. When we feel the loss, we rejoin the part of ourselves that has been figuratively buried.
As explored in the last note, these memories are not always positive. Those who have left can have left behind scars. Connecting to ourselves can help heal in these cases, while other, happier memories can fill our hearts with love.
Connection. Being a part of, not apart from. So, in this time of remembrance, we celebrate the work we do to help this healing process.
-Megan
World Mental Health Day
To learn more, or to register for support now, click the link below.
Your Online Communities
Choice and Control in Hoarding Behaviour Training
Chairing Postive Change
Motivational Interviewing Training
Join us for an inspiring Motivational Interviewing Open Day on Thursday, 25th September, from 10:00-16:30, and enhance your skills!
Family, Friends and Others Support Groups
At the request of many, HUK has launched an online support group for family, friends and others who are not professionals to get support, then in turn better support people who hoard. For more information about the impact we’re making, read about here in this Guardian article.
HUK Helpline
Sign up for 27 45-minute sessions on a weekly, fortnightly and then monthly basis through our Helpline. We offer the service free of charge, but are asking people to make a donation of any amount to support our important work.
Place in the Space Support Group
These monthly psychological and practical support sessions offer a safe space to anyone who hoards who wants to work on managing their space and wellbeing. Please consider joining, no one is required at any point in these sessions to let go of any item explored.
User Involvement Group Meetings
This event is intended for HoardingUK users, including people who have utilised our services or attended our training courses.
If you are a user and have suggestions about how we can improve our services, we encourage you to join us here and give your valued feedback.
Dawn
Reviewing HoardingUK Motivational Interviewing for Hoarding Behaviour
“This training was informative and engaging. Really well delivered and the trainer was very knowledgeable. Would recommend to anyone interested in working with people in this situation.“